The One Where I Say Thank You

Dear Friend,

I'm taking on some big shoes to fill. I'm writing this letter on behalf of expats who have spent time at home after being away for a significant amount of time. You've probably noticed a few things were different with us. Maybe it was easier or maybe it was harder. But I want to speak for the expat community as I extend a celebratory "Thank You!", complete with lots of balloons, glitter, and confetti because, well, you deserve it. Here's why.

1. Thank You... for all of those early airport runs, picking up your weary travelers, decoding our tired mumbles, and heafting our enormous luggage bags. The same goes for drop-offs and all that goes with it--lack of sleep, traffic, crowds, and the super fun maze that is short-term parking lots. 😱

2. Thank You... for your patience when we text you from three different numbers and iMessage you and you have no idea what occasion goes with what number... Because honestly, we have no idea either. ❓⁉️

3. Thank You... for not taking offense when we yawn from jet lag and fall asleep in the middle of lunch. It's not you, it's us... Really. 🍳🍴

4. Thank You... for feeding our obsession with Target and their magical $1 bins of stuff. And Caribou Coffee, because outside of the Midwest, those are pretty much as rare as talking rainbow unicorns. ☕️🐴

5. Thank You... for your friendship. It's hard, the goodbyes are awful, and we are grateful that you think we are worth the trouble. (I don't know about you, but fuzzy Skype calls and dropped connections are my idea of a good time--wait, I'm the only one? Yeah...) 💻📱

So, again, on behalf of my fellow expats, Thank You, for being you. We think you're pretty awesome, and I for one wouldn't be as mentally stable without you. 😂🎉👏🙌  

The One with the Emojis 😳😉👌

I think I'm finally clawing my way out of the dark abyss of school and report cards and emails and just plain SURVIVAL MODE and I'm raising my battered and worn white "surrender" flag furiously. Can you see it? I feel a little bit like someone who has been trapped in a mine:

"The coal-dusted, grimy miner pushes himself beyond the cloud of debris and rock to find himself needing to shield his eyes from the brilliant and bright sun that always existed above ground but was never visible when He was trapped below the surface and cough his way past all of the gunk that had settled in his lungs." ☀️ (I can never resist a good emoji!)

I think that's a fairly accurate simile, and not just because of the Chengdu air pollution. 😆😷

But honestly.

So, without further adieu, I present you with my list of "Top Four Things I've Learned in the Last Ten Months." 🎉🎉🎉 

1) Grace Upon Grace 😇😇😇

There should be a specific day of appreciation for the people who appreciate teachers. And put up with them always obsessing over their classrooms. And listen to them whine and complain about the kids not listening. And hand them tissues when it's time to say goodbye and pass them on to the next grade level (or, let's be honest, pour the celebratory wine in thankfulness that the kids are not going to be in your class next year). In short, thank you for your grace and your patience in dealing with us mine-dwellers who are currently blinking against the brightness of the sun at the moment and getting ourselves re-accustomed to civilization again.

2) I am not a burden and we need each other ❤️❤️❤️

Let me be honest: I have never felt as needy as I have on the past ten months of living overseas. There have been so many times when I have fought and tried and tried and fought to remain stubborn (ahem) and deal with problems myself, but I (finally) have been broken down of that belief to realize that we need each other. We NEED each other. It's not enough for me to give help; it is my calling in life from Father to receive help too. I am not a burden for needing people, and neither are you. 

3) Goodbyes are hard and June is the worst month ever 😢😞😟

I used to love June. The beginning of summer: flowers fully blooming, and it's time to mow the grass. School's out for the summer, and water and camp fires and relaxation take over. But June has become the month of goodbyes, and I really, really don't like goodbyes. I don't know if anyone actually does. I'd like to meet that person and ask them what their secret to life is because I am not anywhere close to figuring it out. Please let me know if you do. 

4) Conflict is good. Wait, what? 😳😳😳

It's hard for me to say that statement without a question mark existing in my voice (for my friends who will get this joke, that would be the second tone in Chinese 😄) when I say that, but it's true! I never thought I would agree with this statement, ever, because it seems to be so against my character, but hey. It's actually really important and it helps you be real and genuine with people, which in my very humble opinion I think is what we should all strive to be with each other. 

Summer has been a pleasant surprise: I truly thought I would hate it, and while it has been the hardest month yet, believe it or not (see point 3 above), it's been the month that I've grown the most in. And it's not even half over yet. 😳

The One Where I Reflect

How much life changes in one year.

How many times I've had that thought in the past week. Who would have ever thought that in April 2015, I would be sitting in a coffee shop in Korea writing about my life in China.

Being in Korea with Reba has been so, so, so good, and it is an absolute miracle that I was able to come--truly. We've been able to exchange thoughts about being expats and what that looks like in our respective countries, we've been able to remember old memories, and we've been able to make new memories too. She's also inspired me to write down these thoughts. 

Here's what I've been learning: 

1. Joy is a choice. 

     

Every day I have to wake up and choose joy. It is not automatic, and the choice of joy is hard. But, it is a good choice to make. 

2. I'm really glad I'm in Chengdu. 

Even when the sun doesn't shine, even when I crave familiar-tasting sour cream, even when I am up to my eye-balls in school-related things, I am glad. 

3.  Good byes are hard. 

I'm really thankful to be meeting the people I am meeting. I get sad that I can't be around people longer. My head says that it's better to have met these people, but my heart says that doesn't make it any easier. I think I'm still working through this one, and I think I always will. And I think that's okay. 

Happy Easter,
Jessi